We are in a great series of studies on the fantastic subject of God’s blessings. Any reading of the Bible has to conclude that God wants to bless his people. In the month of February we are focusing on God’s particular blessing in relationships. Last week, we saw that all healthy relationships are based on the biblical virtues of humility, authenticity, showing honor, acceptance and forgiveness. We also saw how unhealthy and dysfunctional tendencies such as codependency can be overcome.
This week we will look at “How to have a Healthy Marriage.” Our culture is clearly moving away from placing a high value on marriage. A recent study by the Pew Research Center, in association with Time magazine, indicates that four out of every ten people say marriage is becoming obsolete. This is a marked increase from 1978, when 28% said marriage was no longer needed or desired.
According to the study, about 29 percent of children under 18 now live with a parent or parents who are unwed or no longer married. This is a fivefold increase from 1960. Broken down further, about 15 percent have parents who are divorced or separated and 14 percent who were never married. Within those two groups, a sizable chunk — 6 percent — have parents who are live-in couples who opted to raise kids together without getting married.
Here’s what an Associated Press story reported:
"Marriage is still very important in this country, but it doesn't dominate family life like it used to," said Andrew Cherlin, a professor of sociology and public policy at Johns Hopkins University. "Now there are several ways to have a successful family life, and more people accept them." Still, the study indicates that marriage isn't going to disappear anytime soon. Despite a growing view that marriage may not be necessary, 67 percent of Americans were upbeat about the future of marriage and family. That's higher than their optimism for the nation's educational system (50 percent), economy (46 percent) or its morals and ethics (41 percent). And about half of all currently unmarried adults, 46 percent, say they want to get married. Among those unmarried who are living with a partner, the share rises to 64 percent.
Maybe you heard the old joke that asks, “Why is marriage like a hot bath?” Answer: “Because once you get in it, it isn’t so hot anymore!”
It’s easy to make fun of marriage, devalue it, and even disregard it. Yet the Bible teaches that marriage is God’s gift to people who fall in love and want to raise a family. It was always God’s plan to have marriage be the foundation of a healthy society. This is why at Crosswalk we regularly teach about healthy relationships in the marriage. It is also why we encourage live-in couples to please God by getting married, and come alongside them with loving care and counsel to make it as easy as possible for them do to so.
At the same time, the single life is also affirmed by God. Our Lord Jesus was never married (although interestingly, the Bible repeatedly says that the church is his “bride”); and the apostle Paul said he gave up the right to have a believing wife for the sake of advancing the Kingdom of God. There is no shame in being single, and no one is a second class citizen in the church of Jesus Christ. In fact, of Crosswalk members, 60% are married and 40% are single. We praise God for our singles, and apply most of our teaching on marriage in such a way that it is valuable for friendships as well.
I hope to see you in church this Sunday!!
Blessings,
Pastor John
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