Relationships 101

Dear Crosswalkers,
This weekend Leanna and I will be leading a marriage retreat at Lake Tahoe.  One of the teaching points will be on the glaring need in marriage and in all relationship to become the right person, the person God wants us to be.

But to all who believed him and accepted him, he gave the right to become children of God. – John 1:12

The keyword here is become.  In order to become the right person for someone else, we need to become the right person for God and for ourselves.  The first step is to become a Christian.  You will never find happiness outside of yourself, until you will find happiness within yourself.  It’s all about becoming the person God wants you to be, and it all starts by saying yes to faith in Jesus Christ.  There is a third person you need to help your marriage and your friendships to thrive, and that person is Jesus.  He can teach you how to forgive, and how to heal, and how to start over.  Most importantly, he can teach you how to love.  But it all begins with inviting Christ into your life.

For God knew his people in advance, and he chose them to become like his Son… – Romans 8:29

Again, our key word is become.  God’s plan for your life is to become more like Jesus.  It’s all about your character.  The key to developing a healthy relationship with someone else is that you are forever in the process of becoming the person God made you to be.

Dr. Les and Leslie Parrott wrote a book called, Relationships.  It’s based on a course they teach at Seattle Pacific University called Relationship 101.  It’s a very popular class.  Here’s what they tell the students on the first day of class:

“This class is pass/fail.  You don’t have to take notes.  But if you want to learn about relationships, here is one sentence we want you to write down.  It will affect every relationship you have.  However much you understand this sentence and apply it, all your relationships are transformed.  But if you don’t understand or are unwilling to do what this sentence says, your relationships will be dysfunctional.”  This is the sentence:

“If you attempt to build intimacy with a person before you’ve done the hard work of becoming a whole and healthy person, every relationship will be an attempt to complete the hole in your heart and the lack of what you don’t have.  That relationship will end in disaster.”

OK, it’s two sentences, but the second sentence is just a consequence from the truth of the first sentence.  Do you hear what they are saying?  If you are unhappy now, finding someone else will not make you happy.  What will happen is you will continually take and take from the relationship to fill your own emptiness and that will only make the two of you miserable.  The issue is to become a whole and healthy person, then and only then are you equipped to have a whole and healthy relationship with someone else.

Please be in prayer for us as we minister to marriages this weekend!  At Crosswalk, David Bolhorst will bring the message from Matthew 9:35-38.  Please read this passage in advance and come ready to hear the call of God on your life!

Also, we are beginning a 4 week drive to collect food and/or toys for the underprivileged this Christmas.  Please bring a jar of peanut butter or a can of tuna fish; or if you are a toy person, a toy for a boy or girl aged 7-12 sometime during the next 4 weeks!  Thank you for making Crosswalk a church who honors the Lord for our community!

Love in Jesus,

Pastor John Christie

P.S.  Thank you for your prayers for our Pastor to Children and Youth and their families, Peggy Graves.  She underwent successful surgery last Friday and is now on a strong antibiotic to fight the infection.  Please pray for her continued healing!  She hopes to rejoin us next week!

“Pardon our Dust”

This Sunday please avoid the construction work in our parking lot!  Most of the parking spaces should be available to you, but be sensidive to any areas under construction.  Inconveniences should be minimal.